#i dont think ive used feminine words

[freckledjoes]

hi! i love your blog! i’d love to request a drabble, maybe steve and reader’s first christmas as mom and dad :)

Hi love! Thank you for enjoying my blog and sending in the request, that means a lot <3 I hope you will enjoy the drabble too! :)

Sophia's first Christmas

It was already Christmas Eve when Steve finally finished decorating the house with some finishing touches. To be fair, the house had been decorated enough days prior, but he wanted to go all out this year. Especially this year. But work had been crazy busy, with all the preparations for the winter dance, the Christmas market and the charity basketball game he participated in himself at school. In the meantime, you had been taking care of your little one while also simultaneously working at the bookstore. It was a busy time as people always loved to ask for books for Christmas, either because they loved reading, or they had planned some New Year’s resolution to read more next year. Thankfully the owner of the bookstore, aka your boss, didn’t mind it when you brought Sophia along. In fact, Nigel loved to keep an eye on her while you busied yourself with the customers. Nigel could have retired years ago if he had wanted to, but he loved the bookstore too much to do so. However, these busy days did take a toll on him so he favored you at the front of the shop during the rush hours. Safe to say, both you and Steve were pretty knackered when you went home that evening.

Steve stood on his tiptoes to attach the mistletoe above the archway as he had done every year prior. It was in fact how he had managed your first kiss. A true romantic at heart, that one. You both had been alone for Christmas and decided to spend it together, but at the time you had just been friends. Steve hadn’t really dated a girl in years and had been much more careful this time around, but the mistletoe had done the trick to give him just that extra ounce of courage. You had been together ever since. Meaning that Christmas also kind of had become your anniversary, be it the ‘unofficial’ one, because he did go out of his way to ask you to be his girlfriend officially about a month later during a very romantic date.

“Perfect,” he mumbled to himself before he turned around to flash you a grin. “I will require a smooch here later, it’s tradition,” he said, as he did every year. You gave him a smile as you finished giving Sophia a clean diaper and lifted her up against your chest.

“When she’s asleep, we’ll have plenty of time for that,” you told him.

“Until the next bottle at least,” Steve joked.

It was true, you hadn’t had much sleep since Sophia had been born. She would turn one in February and waking up to crying every night, multiple times a night, hadn’t been too fun. But you two made it work, took turns as one would like to expect, and you made sure to look out for each other as well.

Steve walked up to the both of you and gave Sophia a soft kiss on the top of her head before his lips met yours in a sweet kiss, his hand planted on your waist.

“I love you,” he whispered against your lips as he pulled away. Then, with his eyes on Sophia: “and you, my sweet little girl.” He glanced up at the clock and hummed to himself, still caressing your waist and gently digging his fingers in.

“Dinner?” he opted.

“Sounds good.”

And that’s where the fuss began. Sophia became a crying mess as soon as you started on your dinner, refused to be put down but also didn’t want to drink from her bottle. What was supposed to be a romantic evening (as far as that went with a newborn), became a hurried dinner and a lot of failed attempts at trying to calm Sophia down.

Steve tried everything. Usually, he wasn’t too bad at calming her down, but tonight was different. You cleaned up the table while he tried to distract her with toys, stories, even some singing. When Steve tried to give her the bottle again she went on a rampage, scrunching her little face together in protest as she became redder and redder from crying. Steve looked at you helplessly, suddenly getting up in his head about it all. You see, Steve wanted tonight to be perfect. Not just for the two of you, but he wanted Sophia’s first Christmas (and all the ones to come) to be perfect. He never had any of that, never even had one fun Christmas until he met you (mostly because he never admitted that he was home by himself to Robin and the others - he didn’t want to impose on their families), so it was all the more important to him that Sophia did.

“I don’t know what to do,” Steve said softly. “Maybe you should take her, I guess I’m just not—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” you warned, “it’s got nothing to do with you, Steve. She’s just not having it today, we all have bad days, right?” You sat down next to him and planted a kiss on his shoulder on top of his Christmas sweater. Both of you enjoyed a good, classic Christmas sweater and Steve often insisted on the matter.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right,” Steve said reluctantly. “I just don’t want her to feel sad,” he mumbled, looking down at Sophia, his precious little girl. He wanted to protect her from all the harm in the world, at all cost. When he ran a hand through his hair to move it out of his face, he realized his forehead was a little damp.

“I’m actually sweating,” Steve mumbled with a dry chuckle, “can you-? I wanna take it off for a bit,” he said, pointing at his sweater. You nodded and held Sophia as Steve revealed a simple white T-shirt underneath. After giving Sophia back to him you brushed the hairs that stuck to the back of his neck away with your fingers and he sighed. Both of you watched as the only sound that filled the room were the soft crackles of the fireplace. The only sound?

Steve watched in awe as Sophia looked up at him with big eyes, soft and relaxed into his arms. Confusion furrowed his brows and he cautiously held the bottle in front of her, which she happily started drinking from.

“What even…” Steve mumbled. You shrugged, relieved that Sophia was finally content with the situation and rested your head on his shoulder, making you remember the itch of fabric you felt earlier when you kissed it.

“Huh.”

“Hm? What is it?” Steve asked, tilting his head to meet your eyes.

“Maybe she doesn’t like the itch of wool, from your sweater.”

“Oh… you think so?” He momentarily glanced at your sweater but decided he didn’t want to find out right now if she’d throw another tantrum if you held her. That felt a little too mean.

“That, or she has already developed a strong opinion about fashion, just like her dad,” you joked affectionately and Steve gave you a gentle nudge with his shoulder.

“Then she should learn that Christmas sweaters are super nice.”

“Not sure she’ll take that from a man who wears those loafers.” He followed your gaze towards the loafers near the fireplace (an early Christmas present to himself) and scoffed.

“You said you liked them,” Steve mumbled.

“I said I’m happy you like them,” you corrected him innocently. “Nothing like a good, manly ankle on display though.”

Steve barked out a laugh and shook his head.

“Actually… was planning to wear them with white socks.”

“You’d be dead before that ever happened.”

Steve had to admit that was true.

Sophia had finished her bottle and burped politely when Steve gently rubbed her back. He took her to bed upstairs while you grabbed two glasses of wine for the two of you. As Steve came down, he halted at the archway with the mistletoe and leaned against it. When you didn’t react right away, he cleared his throat.

“Yes?” you feigned being oblivious.

“I’m waiting for my kiss.”

“Oh, why didn’t you just say so,” you said as you got up and walked right into his waiting arms. Steve smiled down at you as he held your waist tightly, his bangs tickling your forehead a little bit. His gaze could still fluster you even after all these years. His hazel eyes reflected the decoration lights from somewhere in your home, though you couldn’t decipher which ones exactly. It didn’t matter anyway. Who would be able to focus on that when his twinkling gaze only had eyes for you? His nose nuzzled your cheek while his lips trail a path down to your lips before meeting them in a loving kiss. Steve liked to kiss slowly. Took his time to explore your mouth every single time, as if it was his first and last time doing so. He’d leave sweet little noises from pure enjoyment of kissing you while his hands wandered over your body in a caring manner.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered close to your ear as he allowed his lips to explore your neck, finding your sweet spot.

“Merry Christmas, my love.”

-

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[bedforddanes75]

my issue with terminology discourse isnt that i think everyone's stupid and sensitive it's that literally nobody explains the meanings of things and then get pissy when people dont know what things mean

[illogicalghost]

.

[somekindafairy]

god im just completely oping out of the fem/masc dichotomy from now on.

im just so tired.

like before i started t i had several people describe me as fem (both as "feminine" and as "a femme") since going on t i've had multiple instances of being described as masculine or referred to as masc.

and never once in any of these cases have i felt like they were saying something true or accurate about me.

(also feels noticable that this shift happened when i started hormones and not when i changed my clothes or hair or pronouns or self description words)

[thatneoncrisis]

could you explain your reasoning for butch harrow? im asking this in a way a student asks a master

ok so. up top: do i think harrow is butch in canon? no. god no. absolutely not. secret third category of person. not butch or femme shes just like A Guy who really fucking likes black

however i do think that between those two ends of a nebulous spectrum, being butch would be way more comfortable for her than femme, if we think of it in the most traditional sense for both sides. there are literally exceptions to every rule femmes can have short hair and wear pants, butches can have long hair and wear makeup yadda yadda. but the way she interacts with certain elements of her presentation in canon just felt to ME, PERSONALLY, that being traditionally feminine would freak her the fuck out

ive seen people compare her compulsion to wear the skull paint to a need to wear makeup and i. very much disagree. id see it more as like, an overtly religious thing, like a nuns habit or a hijab, its modesty and how she shows respect for her god, also routine, its as natural as putting on pants for her. and also frankly if it was an analog for traditional makeup that would be uuuuh awful. like I genuinely feel terrible for women who cannot even leave the house without foundation or contouring or whatever i dont know shit about makeup but holy fuck. if shes femme in that analog id be shaking her by the shoulders GIRL. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE A NAKED ANIMAL

another thing is her hair. so many people read her having short hair and immediately went to a bob or a pixie cut. and between tamsyns inconsistent description of the length of her hair in book one (saying its stuck to her face with sweat despite them being there for like, a month) and the htn cover being The best image we have of her, i understand that conclusion. but in the beginning of gtn its said its close cropped, tamsyn said on her blog post describing all the characters its "cut short (as benefits someone in a monestary)" which is a very interesting choice of words tbh. like im sute she didnt mean harrow is completely bald in the middle with a ring of hair but that Is the monk haircut. and then finally harrow says to gideon outright "i wont cut you bald-even though your hair is ridiculous- because I know you wont shave it every day" which i always took to mean being shaved down to the scalp is just how the ninth is traditionally. in harrow the ninth its said "occasionally ticklish rasps at your ears or forehead would frighten you numb before you realized ut was your own hair" indicating that she is not used to that length at all. also theres the fact that ianthe made her hair grow faster particularly to fuck with her. in short harrows haircut is shitty and utilitarian and any fussing with it has only been described in relation to her direct discomfort

finally theres that goddamn dress scene. why did ianthe put her in that stupid fucking thing. humilation tactic (im exaggerating but it basically was explicitly and exclusively for ianthes own amusement). shes such a simple girl, she just wanted something that could cover her up. its not impossible to have a longsleeved formless dress, but beyond my own opinion that i think harrow would have been uncomfortable in anything, i think the fact this like, explicit symbol of femininity is used to further degrade her in some sense in a room full of people who font reapect her feels like. intentional on the authors end. it quite literally just isnt her, its not even a true black its like a deep midnight blue. you get the pretty woman makeover scene but harrow comes out of it more miserable and resigned than ever. augustines approval means nothing. she looks in the mirror and sees her mother, a woman she appears to not have a single fond memory about. its all very sad

tldr when i talk about butch harrow its less about her "being butch" and more about how unfemme i think she is. also i want more butch4butch dykes i think gideon and camilla should teach her how to tie a tie.

[miifu666]

Finally Doodled the Black Myth Oc, ive been hyperfixating on ARGHHH. I usually work on my other ocs but this is the first Oc i make thats probably more fluff and angst than angst no comfort... Letsss get to her/their Bio shall wee!!!

Suklha

A Centipede Deity, a replica of her former reincarnation, Kafkaesque. (She/Them)

They appear Feminine, so usual pronouns could be between they/her. They dont mind it as long as you're respectful.

They actually dont have a real name, the moment they woke up in a disheveled shrine, they found some scrolls and the only word they can read is "Suklha" which somehow has the meaning "Bearer of all forms, Goddess of Forms" so they took that as their own name.

Suklha also doesn't know how they came to be, one day covered in warmth they descended into the world. To be nothing but a seed created by Buddha, to discover, relive and replicate what their past self are like. To continue the samsara made specifically for her, a destiny for an otherworldly being.

Despite being born in an abandoned Shrine, they dont particularly feel at home. So they travel a lot, understanding nature and its functionality. Suklha use their own experience as knowledge, they noticed the more gentle you give to the world, the more answer it will give you.

They're a centipede deity, yet they don't know how the supreme strength and impregnable defense came from. Just because they've been hit by a large boulder plenty of times doesn't mean they can always dismiss it as a leaf. Thats how strong her fortification is, she can crawl out of being poured lava and a whole mountain unscathed.

They can easily blow a pebble that'll circle around the earth. The extraordinary strength and ability is such a feat. Even Yuan Fen had to take a few moments for himself. It's not Everyday you hear someone stronger than wukong himself.

Despite their counterpart being a calculative and cunning Deity, Suklha has the opposite personality (as my theory) they're shy, airheaded and aloof. They show how caring they are through acts of service and words, gentle hands giving you a homemade tea. While its warm, Suklha would tell you how proud she is for you to get through the journey this far.

If given the chance, i dont think Suklha would be that surprise meeting their more jesterly persona Counterpart. I think they'd be more amused, how such a difference in soul could be connected through fates.

They're a replica, of course, not the real deal. But its enough for Yuan fen and Wukong. Its enough for the broken shell of the monkey king to falter a bit and widen its eyes. Giving Yuan fen a chance to strike and ending the duel prematurely.

Even at the end, as the two destined relics combined. Suklha still feels a little loss, theres a harrowing feeling. They havent found "home", as their tears fall from the observation. Suklha saw the conjoined relic of Yuan fen and the broken shell handing out a fragment of some gemstone. They stared at it, confused.

Yuan fen gently pecked their lips with the fragment. As if telling them to swallow it, noticing this. Suklha slowly took the pieces and swallowed with a nervous hiccup.

The the power flooded in, small shreds of what used to be Suklha's ability came crashing into her mind.

Heaven hated them. Heaven HATED them working together, they planned a fake betrayal of the other so they could start a conflict within. Breaking their dreams of living a peaceful life together.

Is that why the monkey king left his shell? His unorganized despair at what's left.

Could they have their happy ending now? In this new forsaken life? While the previous one ended in heartbreak and dreams?

Artwork ©️ Miifu666

Writings ©️ Miifu666

Last prompt idea ©️ mehiwilldoitlater

[our-queer-experience]

ive recently started going by any pronouns, realised i may slightly prefer he/him and masc terms over she/her despite presenting mostly feminine/androgynous and disliking aspects of being masculine (body hair and like the masc build sorta) and like. yeah. i feel like this fits under non binary but enby just doesnt feel right idk why so does just saying im trans it feels like too big of a commitment and sorta like it's too big of a jump from what i am right now i used to think i could be agender but now i dont feel like that anymore idk what i am please help thank you <3

i cant say what you are, really. i CAN tell you that its ok if nothing fits, if you dont want to call yourself anything, and i’m always here if you want to talk at someone about what your thoughts are. i can also recommend seeing a therapist who specializes in trans issues, keeping a journal, and being patient with yourself. i can tell youre feeling insecure about your place in a gendered society; don’t put so much pressure on finding the perfect word

[velvetvexations]

Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.

I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).

And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.

This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.

I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them

Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.

Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".

So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.

Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.

Thank you for the support, anon.

[year2000electronics]

Do you have any voice headcanons for the Legion of Stationary?

ive always struggled with this type of question because i always interpreted it as needing to come up with a specific voice actor to suit my needs but honestly... I DONT NEED TO DO THAT ACTUALLY! i can just describe the vibes in my head

COLOURED PENCILS: ok honestly i know i just said i dont have any specific VAs but copen is always gonna sound like chase devineaux from the netflix carmen sandiego to me. otherwise, i could also see him having a very deep and monotone register. very sharp.

RUBBER BAND: an alto sort of register who is constantly trying to hit the sopranos. you know that famous laugh. the OOOOHOHOHOHO. yeah. that. id almost call it sing-songy. a particular rhythm to it, but definitely always keeping to her higher register while also needing to project using a Stage Voice. flamboyant all around

HOLE PUNCH: i think his voice would almost betray who he really is, in a way. like, he pretends like he's so cool and so amicable and a chill music loving dude! but he's actually kind of a big bully who's terrible with people? so he has your typical trappings of a "party animal" voice, upbeat, but there's this aggressiveness to it. every single word laced with threat, stresses placed on just the right syllables. like how he demands mario to go find more toads because even though you got the song he likes, HE WON'T GO OUT THERE IF NO ONE IS DANCING, YOU DIG?

TAPE: this ones even easier than copen. bada bing bada boom. apply new yorker accent where necessary and leave happy. i feel like he yells very loud, but has actually a really nice and smooth register when he's, like, ACTUALLY being smart. like, yknow, he'll threaten mario and claim that mario's insulting him personally, but all of a sudden, when olivia realizes the board's been taped up, he gets real smug and real quiet. and thats when you know he means business

SCISSORS: the opposite of tape. she has a pretty high-pitched feminine voice, but she's purposely going more gravelly and trying to maintain a low, dark tone when she speaks to mario. the moment her composure is rocked, though, when mario dodges her final cut, she reveals her "truer" voice which is more nasally and shrill.

STAPLER: bark bark bark

[the-lonelyshepherd]

im sorry im stumbled upon your poll

can you explain from where the trans travis martinez comes?

or point me to the posts about that analysis

i just dont see it

you dont have to.do it if you think it'll bring the haters. thx

Hi! yeah um no worries i’m always happy to answer questions.

tldr in the words of @periwinklekryptonite

but if you want some more in depth personally for me it’s because of the themes of yellowjackets. it’s a story very much centered around girlhood, ESPECIALLY in the wilderness. 

(gonna be using she her for travis. for the sake of the post)

we start off with only three guys - javi, travis, ben (coach martinez immediately dies lmao)

lets look at each of their fates - javi? killed and eaten. ben? isolated, off in his own world and… probably going to be killed and eaten. but the outlier is none other than travis. why? she becomes part of the group. 

the wilderness is at its core a place where there’s a complete shift in power and gender dynamics. in early season one travis plays up this big though guy, something that she very clearly is not. and everyone can tell because it doesn’t work out in the slightest. similarly to ben, besides his hunting (and other stuff) trips with nat he’s relatively outcasted from the rest of the girls. it’s when we get into season two when things really start to change. after javis disappearance it’s a rough spiral for travis, out of the rigid social dynamics of wiskayok new fucking jersey and into the fluid and very female wilderness. 

i’m not like. a pioneer of this idea at all and it’s relatively new to me but it is something i thing is very very compelling and interesting and i do really think it makes sense. i do think @periwinklekryptonite’s (though introductory) write up is very very good and he’s writing more in the future i think so im going to add that here vvv

i’ve also written an analysis on that travlottienat scene in Edible Complex and i do talk a little more in depth about Travis’s relationship with femininity

AND EDITING TO ADD LIKE THE MOST INSANE AMAZING THING IVE EVER READ THAT JUST DROPPED LIKE TEN MIN AGO BY @cannibalizedyke GENUINELY JAW ON THE FLOOR

yeah it’s a headcanon but it works. pretty well imo and it would make a lot of sense narratively and is just overall fun. i love her :)

[fatmaclover]

do you think mac and charlie have ever been sat together getting high looking at the stars or just chilling together or whatever. do you think mac always wants to talk about his queer identity. hes always so desperate to be seen, to be heard, to be understood in his own way.

i think charlie would be hesitant. every time mac wants to talk about how he feels in relation to his identity, charlies always shutting it down. "no, dude, dont press that gay shit on me"

but like. mac wears charlie down eventually. keeps insisting on wanting to speak about it, to use charlie as a wall to bounce feelings and thoughts off of. to find the correct words or mediums or images to understand himself better. to have his friends, his family, those he loves, to understand him better.

not to mention his best friend.

so charlie relents. "fine, fine, whatever. lets just get it over with"

and its a long talk. charlie listens for hours as mac explains his struggles with being a man, his self image, his relationship towards women, womanhood, femininity, masculinity, how confusing it all is. how weird it is to figure out what balance he is of what, how he relates to it all. how its such a struggle to just.... find his place.

and charlies really listening here- and theres some really potent stuff. like, yeah, all this stuff is confusing. whys mac bringing it up like its not supposed to be? is it not supposed to be confusing? are you not supposed to feel utterly baffled when youve been pushed to just sit down and think about why youre attracted to what. why you feel certain ways about certain things. why youre comforted by what youre comforted by. why youre made uncomfortable by so much normal stuff.

"isnt... everyone confused by stuff like that?" charlie asks, taking another huff of whatever near-lethal substance the two had gotten their hands on.

"are you?" mac returns.

"well- of course i am. its all so weird."

and theres a long pause between them. they both take a moment to get a couple more huffs in, and mac finally breaks the silence.

"i was always under the impression that people who werent gay never really thought about it."

"well- im not gay, and ive thought about it." of course charlies defensive. this is really vulnerable and sensitive stuff.

"well- sure. you might not be gay, but- i mean- the crossdressing thing man. cmon."

"thats not weird!" charlies hackles are immediately raised. "ive told you- i- i had a single mother, and-"

mac grabs charlies shoulders, looking into the brown eyes in front of him.

"im not saying its weird. i dont think its weird, charlie."

its another long moment of silence. charlie doesnt know how to respond, the world felt like it was crumbling a little.

too high for this.

"i- i guess-" macs voice was like a knife, the way it cut through the nightly city noise. "i just want you to know, that i think its okay, if its complicated for you, too. and that im not gonna be stupid and shame you for it being complicated."

another beat of silence, only broken by a car alarm going off in the far distance.

"i-... yeah. okay man, sure." charlie responds, simply relaxing into macs hold.

its a pretty quiet night, from then on, but it isnt like much needs to be said.

charlie can at least feel a little bit safer in her best friends arms.

[pen136]

its been so long (like less than a week) since ive burger posted so here we go: headcanon list guys!

also cw - mentions of mental illness/trauma

bob : very much based off my own dad (one of my favorite people alive), bisexual, autistic depressed and clinically anxious, lies on the floor a lot because of back problems, works through injury and illness (the family's doing a bit better on money now but he's lived his whole life in fear of being unable to support the people he loves and their wellbeing), saw that tina aligned herself with femininity from when she was a really little kid (supports her endlessly, was the first one to buy her a dress), gives the kids his old records/cassettes/cds, quality time is his love language, loves crappy old movies from the 80s (like weird science), winona ryder was his childhood crush, tina shows him phoebe bridgers and he loves her (cries to kyoto bc dad issues), so desperately trying to not become his father, dreams about his mom a lot, has been getting gray hairs since he was 17 (purely from stress), bad episodes of insomnia, claims he doesn't mind being away from linda (if shes not in the same room as him for more than an hour he needs to cry, she is his absolute best friend), really adores teddy like a stupid younger brother, fucking hates mr frond with a burning passion

linda : truthfully i dont have much for her. i dont need to really give her any headcannons i worship her the way she is, but shes def adhd and autistic

gene : genderfluid (he/she), audhd, live laugh love fiona apple, bad sensory issues, cant wear pants unless theyre baggy, sisters buys him reusable earplugs, got linda's family's loudness, talks shit WAY too loud, jazz bitch, can surprisingly do a cartwheel really well, walks around belting 90s music (everyone hates it except lin), loves makeup and looks amazing in it (tina is secretly really pissed that he looks better in it than her), can fall asleep anywhere, will eat anything once, has bit alex/courtney as a form of affection (tina and louise too but theyre used to it), will sit on tinas floor and vent to her at any given moment, remembers nothing except for the most obscure random things about the people he loves, incorporates music in all of his school reports, loves salty food especially

louise : unlabeled (she/they), autistic, loves japanese candies and snacks, phone screen chronically cracked, permanently cold hands, tina does her hair, makes own jewelry and pins, loves broaches and mints but always forgets which is in which tin, has drank paint water by accident, very artistic, loves to draw in comic book/manga styles, secretly really enjoys being around jimmy jr (finds him really funny), loves a good ironic trucker hat, if you can read this the bitch fell off, needs glasses (ends up getting funky ones like lindas), short fingers that are always painted light green and pink, lots of scars on hands from skateboarding, learns bass later in life, starts saying "oh my god" like bob

tina : transfemme (she/her), autistic/has clinical anxiety and depression, speaks with the most subtle new york accent (residual from linda), multilingual (fluent in spanish, conversational in french, knows some korean, can say random words in various others), loves bad campy horror movies, incredibly soft but always sweaty hands, layers her hair (learns to cut her own), because of everything thats happened she is extremely paranoid about family dying, sensitive skin, has a bunch of digestive issues (throws up a lot), sometimes has violent tendencies (feels guilty for them always), sleep walking/chronic nightmares (wakes up screaming a lot), watches drag race with bob, #1 phoebe bridgers/lucy dacus/julien baker fan, adores sleater-kinney, loves riot grrl music, bites nails, extremely clumsy (scars), loves big jackets over dresses, takes naps because she cant sleep at night, truly is her fathers daughter

i do not think anyone will read this whole thing, but i hope you like it if you did

[rafedaddy01]

I cant believe out of all places my parents chose Outer Banks to move too. This place is a shithole, except for the nicer part of town, where the rich live. This place is completely different from where i grew up, a small town In California called Nevada City. Man it was wonderful! the town pop was about 3,000 people and everybody knew everybody. it was home. but this place... in lack of better words; is a complete shithole.

of course my parents being the rich pricks they are, stayed back home to "deal with business" whatever the hell that means for them. so im staying with an old family friend of theirs, great! not..

the driver picks me up from the airport and as we drive to said family friend i admire the scenery. Houses, boats, shacks, homeless people, shops, that was all in the "poor side" as it call it, eye roll, i never enjoyed being rich. i was born into it. my father on the other hand was a made man. He opened up quite a few banks in our little city and recently they have evolved into bigger states/cities, hence the move.

we lived in a big manor on a secluded acreage back home, thats weird to say, i guess its not home anymore. we were close enough to town for me to be able to pop in everyday and work at the local museum, we always had lots of tourists come in and i enjoyed telling people about the history of our town.

i sigh in the back seat of the limo as i think about was used to be home and prepare to make acquaintance with the kings of the island. The Cameron's. my parents told me a little bit about them since id be staying with them until mom and dad could come down here permeantly.

There was Ward Cameron, the father. Rose Cameron, the stepmother. Rafe Cameron, the eldest. Sarah Cameron, the middle child. and Wheezie, the youngest of the bunch. They seemed noraml enough and i was kind of excited to make some new friends.

we pulled up to the house and man oh man. Ive seen some houses in my day but heck! seeing all the worn out building on the way over? the hosue has two stories and is white, it almost looks like the white house!

my eyebrows raise to my forehead as we drive up the long driveway and stop at the front of the house. the driver comes to my side and opens the door, ugh i hate being waited on, "thank you, Scott. You dont have to worry about my bags, i can carry them" i tell the older gentleman who looks like he should be in a retirement home with his white hair that is swiped back and covered by that redicioulse chauffer hat and that outift that sits loosely on his visible scrawny bones. "No worries Miss, Morales, its my pleasure." he smiles as he wobbles over to the trunk and takes my luggage.

"You must be Avery!" a feminine voice beams as she embraces me in a hug. Ugh, i do not like being touch. This town is just getting better and better. "im Rose Cameron, welcome to our home" she introduces herself and i take a step back examining her, she has blonde hair that comes down to about her shoulders and its pampered to perfection. She wearing a baby pink dress that hug's her curves magnificently. she has gold dangly earrings on and black thin heels, the kind that a sophisticated women would wear, shes beautiful but theres something about her i dont really like. "yes, hello" i smile back at her. "thank you for being so kind as to take me in" i tell her "oh nonsense, your parents are lovely people and we told them wed be happy to let you stay with us. as long as it takes"

As long as it take? what is that supposed to mean. does rose know something i dont, should i be worried?

i scratch the thoughts from my mind as we step into the estate, its beautiful, the twisting stairwell that leads upstairs and the gigantic chandelier that dangles in the middle. "wow, very beutiful Mrs. Cameron" i say as i take a look around "oh please, call me rose" she smiles, theres a viscousness in her smile, its fake. Ive seen it before, from my own mother none the less.

"let me show you to your room, the driver has already set your luggage in there" she says as she leads me up the staircase.

we walk into one of the many guest rooms, but this one is mine. the walls are a shade of gold and its oddly comforting. theres a large king bed in the center of the wide room and a balcony that hovers over the green grass and water thats seen in the distance. The bathroom is in the room and seems to connect to the room next door, i wonder whose room that is, probably another guest room.

"ill let you settle in and once your done you can come down for dinner and meet the rest of the family" rose smiles at me as she shuts the door and lets me settle.

i take a momment scanning the room, theres not much in it besides a closet, a bed, some nightstands, and curtains that fall along the frames of the windows. its much bigger than my room back home. i decide not to unpack everything, i dont plan on being her long, i hope.

I decided to take a shower, i was in a plane for 15hrs overall.

I wash myself with some shampoo that is in there, it smells like cedarwood and ginger, an odd mix but also strangly comforting. i lather my hair and body and let the hot water relax my built up tension.

once i hop out of the shower i wrap a towel around my body and head through my bedroom door, i stop and stare at the door across from mine, i wonder whose room that is.

i walk up to my luggage and pull out a mini plaid green skirt with a matching top, i dry my hair and let the pin-straight black strands flow down my back

i step out of the room at about 7:20pm and head downstairs, the smell of chicken infests my nostrils and my stomach grumbles, i hadnt even realized i didnt eat much today. i stride into the dining room and everybody is in there seats, except for two open ones, mine and i presume rafes, whose is empty.

"ah, there she is!' Ward speaks as he stands and rounds the table to me "Avery Morales, Sir" i say extending my hand. Ive learned my manners from talking to my father, he is a kind man when he wants to be but money changed him. he and my mother have both become vicious and would do anything to fill their wallets. its sad really, we used to be the perfect little family in Nevada and we still are, were, but with much darker secrets now, thats a story for another time.

"Im happy to welcome you to our humble abode Miss Morales" he says pulling my chair out for me. The empty chair is beside me while who i presume are sarah and wheezie sit across from me and ward and rose sit on opposite ends of the table.

"Im sarah" the girl to the left in front of me says. She is gorgeous, she has a tan that sticks to her skin like its her natural color and dirty blonde hair that flows down her shoulders and chest, her lips are plump and full and her eyes sparkle with kindness, i like her. "Wheezie" peeps the little girl next to her, shes young, maybe 13 or 14. She had black hair thats braided in two braids and glasses that frame her face.

"lets eat!" rose cheers as we dig in

we finish dinner and i insist on helping clear the table but ward says they have staff that do that and that i should get some rest because ive had a long day. Hes right im exhusted. I got to know sarah quite a bit, wheezie doesnt talk much. it seems like nobody really notices her and they all just ignore her whenever she trys to speak up. But sarah told me about the island a little bit and even said shed introduce me to some friends tomorrow.

I walk up the stairs and head for my room but i couldnt help thinking about the empty chair next to mine. why wasnt he at dinner? does he not live here, does he even exist. My mind is heavy with thoughts as i walk to the bathroom and turn the doorknob, that weird, i didnt leave the light on

"oh my god! im so sorry!' i squeal as i cover my eyes.

There is Rafe. standing. naked. in my bathroom, well, our bathoom. I guess i found out whose room is next to mine.

Pt2

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism @drewstarkeysbae @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx

[fictionfixations]

genderfluid (& androgynous)

someone called riddle genderfluid and now i cant unsee it

(imagine its a fem day. and he just sits there with a skirt. and radiating dom energy. my minds too stuck on bamf ladies. also you dont have to wear a skirt if you dont wanna, i just like em. but uh. its like a superiority thing. (bruh imagine someone bumps into them- or.. wHATEVER pronoun. uh. fuck. i said them for riddle cause im too used to he/they characters. wtf pronouns do i use for him??? uhm. but so someone bumps into riddle. and then they just blurt out 'pls step on me'. and hes like wha? [cuz he comes off strict and intimidating, but hes also sometimes clueless/oblivious, poor sheltered bby] and then they eep and run away hehehehe ...imagine he asks cater what that meant [because cater knows a lot of weird stuff]. cater spits out his tea like WHAT. HUH? actually LMFAO- 'i never expected to hear those words come out of riddles mouth! and he said it so straight-faced too!')

..i have a hunch you probably thought id put 'step on me mommy' but

im. kind of not a fan of the sexualization of those words cause now i can never unsee it when its just an innocent version

i feel like.. riddle has a lot of problems with his mom. one including not wanting to be too similar to her, or being compared to her (and regretting that he'd basically become a mini-her for awhile there, although in more serious words)

(also how do genderfluid people do pronouns?? [i have no gender so i dont get it] ive seen in some writing they use like. she/her on a she/her day. or he/him on a he/him day. but could you also just... stay to another pronoun too? i mean. theres probably she/they and he/they that works there. she/he does too. ..is it she/he? or is it she/him? probably she/he. idfk. i mean. i have a bias towards he/they. but like. if you're leaning more towards feminine.. do you match feminine pronouns too or is it just based on how you're feeling and it can really just go either way??? i kind of want to write a genderfluid riddle in a purely self-indulgent way. but i dont know what to do about the pronouns or if i should change them)

anyway

maybe thats my bad cause i like referring to him as a queen instead of a king (HE WEARS HEELS TOO. we love a short king. LMFAO)

(he wears heels because the queen and the first heartslabyul housewarden wore them. and his uniform is modeled after the first heartslabyul housewarden. this is iirc mentioned in his halloween vignette)

this is future me

he could definitely just be androgynous too and not afraid to use it

like

okay

spoilers for a JP card but

here. (a card i desperately want in the future, even though ill probably never actually use him)

which since we're here. vil. with his androgynous energy. who is also referred to as a queen. .........

honestly. i dont think he really cares that much about either way? or. that. i think im wording that wrong

like.. wearing dresses or suits, i dont think it makes a difference to him. for 1, he knows he rocks it. 2, assigning things to 'female' and 'male' and then saying the other cant wear things the opposite does is dumb (i still refer to them as feminine or masculine to differentiate them, my issue with it is then restricting it)

so he just. sometimes

to prove a point, wears short hair (or something that leans a little more towards masculine-y) with dresses

actually he kind of does that already

its just a coincidence LMFAO

i think its just more to fit the occasion

cause in this his hair is tied up

also damn this mfs pretty

anyway i think thats enough vil LMFAO

i got so off topic

[conceptofjoy]

like I get what anon is saying but transfem and transmasc do not mean trans and feminine or trans and masculine. saying someone can be afab transfem is a) inaccurate and b) toeing the line of transmisogyny if not crossing over entirely. a trans person on testosterone no matter how feminine is still transmasc, that's what the word means

iiiii..... wouldnt say that the last part is true. tmasc and tfem are labels you decide to adopt. you know how theres a venn diagram with butch and lesboys but while theres a lot of overlap, its not a circle right. ok that's not the point.

I think the main worry is that overtly tmisogynist or -because we live in a transmisogynistic society- implicitly biased afab trans people, will use the tfem label while disrespecting amab tfems in they own house. which is an EXTREMELY reasonable concern and is honestly founded in reality.

idk why some afab trans people would ID as such and its not like ive seen any polls slash stats around so i'll refrain from saying shit i dont know squat about. none o my business unless a specific person's tmisogynistic. i also think we should give transgyals a break from discourse for one fuckin second ^_^

[odysseys-blood]

theres a lot of back and forth about paimon especially so i just wanna put in my two cents about it bc speculation on paimon and gender can be tricky and theres a lot to take into consideration. this isnt an end all be all post and not the best written but im just speaking from my place as someone who is trans (though i myself am tme) and works with gender themes in my own characters so this is gonna be kinda long

So! Paimon

a lot of the issue from the back and forth stems from how paimon is written by default. When you meet paimon, he's designated as just a pretty boy that likes to crossdress and they emphasize heavily that paimon is a man every time they talk about his femininity and how he presents himself.

Now crossdressing itself is not at all transphobic, hell drag is a big thing and its not uncommon for queens do figure out that they're transfem when they get into it. In fact a lot of queer people do push to erase gender boundaries within clothes because in the end....clothing is just cloth wear what you want be who you want to be, whether it be a woman wearing masc clothing, a man wearing femme clothes, or anyone just wearing something neutral feeling.

Where it becomes a problem is the push to enforce paimon's masculinity at every turn. While its good that paimon isn't a character that's put in to be played for laughs (as feminine men and trans women often are in media), it comes off odd in a way for paimon to have a feminine voice, dress femininely, love feminine things...and then at every point have it enforced heavily that paimon is a man. THAT is where a lot of the issue stems from at when you see it happening as someone who has seen transmisogyny (if this is your first time seeing the word, its transphobia that arises specifically for a trans woman being a woman. ergo the word being a mix of transphobia and misogyny) in practice it looks worrying. When you're someone who knows how to spot this kind of thing it can feel like paimon's gender nonconformity is being demonized (while they also highlight it. its an odd mix).

This isn't to say that it is a concious thing that's being pushed either i'm not saying the writers are personally transmisogynists at all, HOWEVER since transphobia and transmisogyny is rampant in society to the point where it subconsciously controls biases, thats how it can come off transmisogynistic. Think of it as similar to racism: even if you think you yourself are not racist theres still likely biases you have picked up or have been taught just because theyre so pervasive in society. This doesnt mean its your fault it just means its something that you have to unlearn conciously and put in the work to do so.

This is also not just a problem with whb because again like i said, its systemic. Think about other characters in media who are written this way, such as Bridget from Guilty Gear, or Vivian from Paper Mario. While these two are different in that their status as trans women have been solidified, the treatment they've gotten is largely the same. Especially bridget considering how she for the longest was the poster child for the "femboy" archetype and how femininity is enforced yet also discouraged in these characters until she was finally labeled transgender in gg strive.

All this to say...its messy and theres a lot of points to consider so there really isnt a reason to go at each others throats. Using paimon's canon pronouns and gender isn't exactly a problem and neither is choosing to instead see paimon as a transgender woman and using she/her pronouns. But at the very least it doesn't hurt to educate yourself also and understand why paimon's writing can come off transmisogynistic and transphobic. WHB is not a game thats heralding itself on being progressive (even if there are aspects to it that might seem so) so there's not much to expect from it in that regard but still we can be mindful and discussion isnt bad.

(also a footnote i dont think ive seen any transfem or tma players of whb in the tag....ever but if anyone is and wants to add on or thinks ive overstepped let me know)